The Undertaker Convention

This is a story I started in writing group today:

It was four o'clock in the morning and the sky was the color of the inside of a grapefruit. Jack rested his head on his hands and looked around at the people who sat near him in the large auditorium. On his right sat a large man with red hair. He wore a green and white striped polo shirt that said Apple Blossom Country Club in red letters. He was reading a book called "Arnold Palmer's Secrets to Golfing" On Jack's left sat a woman with straight black hair. She was currently yelling into her iphone, "What do you mean you broke the heating Ralph? You know what I've had enough of you!" She hung up.

Jack sighed and turned his gaze back to the auditorium stage. Jack and all the other people in the room had come for the undertaker's convention. A daylong event where the newest and best coffin technology would be unveiled. Around him Jack heard nothing unusual, mostly jokes about death. He heard from behind him, "Wow, run over by a steam roller, that's pretty impressive. But I have better, I had a client who was eaten by a rhinoceros." This was greeted by many oos and ahs. Finally the ceremonial coffin was rolled in and out of it popped the host of the event. He happily proclaimed, "Welcome to the annual undertaker's convention!"

The host's name was William A. Huffer but the undertakers thought that was too formal and called him "Huff 'n Puff Huffer" Mr. Huffer continued, "It’s a great honor to be here for this joyous event. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for.” Mr. Huffer took an envelope out of his jacket pocket and opened it. “The winner of the award for best coffin goes to…” He paused dramatically, “The Wooden Reaper, Embalm Studios,” shouted Mr. Huffer.

The man who had been bragging about his unlucky clients eccentric death jumped up and pumped his fist. As he walked down the aisle toward the stage a voice came over the loudspeakers, “This is the first Mortis Award for Embalming Studios coffin. They have been nominated three times.” The crowd clapped and cheered as the man climbed up the stairs to the stage. The man mounted the stage and was handed his Mortis award, which was a golden trophy in the shape of a coffin.